with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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