I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Farmville is her only friend.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
