whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
