I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
