how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
