I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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