Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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