But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
