she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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