She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
