I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
