Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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