You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
