I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
