Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
