It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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