He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
