yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
