You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
