I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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