Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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