so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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