Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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