Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries