Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence