Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
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So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
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Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?