sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.