if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Randomize