lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
