Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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