kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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