He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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