life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
