Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
