Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
