her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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