so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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