He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
