So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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