ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
