just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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