this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
