That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize