lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
