32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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