Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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