This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
