I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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