Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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