...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
