We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Even my vagina gasped.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
