I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
