i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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