Sponge bath it is.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
where are you?
Hypothermia
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
