Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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