you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
