I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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