The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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