I got chris browned last night
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We left the knife in your bed.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
