You can't motorboat a personality
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
