god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
