What a fucking waste of an outfit
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
