oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
