The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
