I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
